Leaving XWD Because of Immense Frustration

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I stretched my soft grouped button on one layer...and wont you know...It doesnt stretch on the other layer!

Soft-grouping does not connect the size of like elements on different layers. Soft-grouping does two things:

1. Ensures that soft-grouped items move together.
2. Ensures same text strings on different layers. When one text string is changed, the other(s) will too. Note that this is only true if the text strings were identical when the soft-grouping was applied.

Changes to text attributes (other than string value) are NOT affected by soft-groups. For example, changing the text on one layer from 'Arial' to 'Georgia' will not affect any other layers. Bolding, color, size, justification, position, etc. are not at all connected. This allows text on a rollover layer to have a unique look.

From Xara Web Designer Help > Soft Groups:

Text Synchronisation
Any text objects which have the same text value and which are members of the same Soft Group are kept synchronized if any of those text objects are edited. So change the text in one object and any other text objects that had the exact same characters will also be changed to match. Only the text value itself if synchronized, so different text objects can have different sizes, fonts and text attributes.

Also, with respect to how soft-grouped elements behave together, (from the same Help reference as above):

Selecting one member of a Soft Group also selects all other members of the same Soft Group – even members that are on invisible or locked layers. This means when you delete, move, rotate or otherwise transform one member of a Soft Group, all the other members are similarly modified.

Cant tell you for sure how many tens of hours I spent in the past trying to match up the mouseOff and mouseOver states because soft group did not synchronize and register for me...I was hoping it would.

That's all the more reason to build the button elements in the following sequence:

1. Activate the base/static layer where you want to place your button. If necessary, create a new layer.
2. Create the button object.
3. Add the text element, properly justified.
4. Position the text on the button object.
5. Group (Ctrl+G) the elements together.
6. Create a clone (Ctrl+K). The new copy of your group is positioned exactly over the other/original button group.
7. Move then new (cloned) group to it's rollover layer. This rollover layer must be immediately above the base/static layer, AND the first eight letters of its name must be mouseover (not case-sensitive).
8. Edit the button elements on this rollover (mouseover...) layer to look however you like. Note that you can reach inside the group with a Ctrl+mouse.click. For multiple selection (inside a group), follow with Ctrl+Shift+mouse.click. You don't need to ungroup.
9. Apply a link. With both the base layer and its rollover layer visible and selectable (unlocked), lasso/marquee-select the "2 groups (soft-group) on 2 layers" (note the status line at the lower-left of your program window). Right-mouse.click and select Web Properties. Set Web Properties > Link > Link to web address > [_#_]. Click Apply.
10. Apply Soft Group

With one button created, you can simply duplicate this button as required. All you should need to do after this is to change the text value either of the two button layers.

Not that all of this is done in the mini-demo that I posted ... in about 90 seconds.

The Layer Gallery is your friend. Changing layer states (visibility and selectability) allows quick and convenient access to the various button/layer states.