Any Facebook savvy people on here?

[stratocast]

Firstly, let me say, I don't have a Facebook account, I don't want a Facebook account. I have attempted to erase all knowledge of Facebook's existence from my memory through invasive surgery. I'm a one man crusader attempting, with increasing futility, to protect what's left of my privacy and the mere mention of Facebook causes my tinfoil hat to vibrate and glow alarmingly!

OK, a little exaggeration there (except for the hat, which I find quite fetching).

Anyhow, I received this e-mail (see pic) from a friend who has just set up a Facebook account. Fair enough, he's a good, long-time pal of mine who travels a lot and for him maybe a Facebook account is a good idea.

My problem with this e-mail and the source of my irritation is the listing of "Other people you may know on Facebook". This really got the old hat twirling!

1. There are six names there, all of whom I know. How on earth does Facebook know that I know these people?
2. My friend will know only two of these people and these two will probably know each other as well as my friend. The rest have, with absolute certainty, no connection to or knowledge of the existence of any of the others in what I, perhaps naively, still refer to as the real world.

Is it merely that these twerps have got my e-mail address listed somewhere on Facebook? Is it really that simple?

On the other hand, I don't know whether to be happy or sad that my suspicious and paranoid nature (or as I like to call it gregarious and friendly) has only garnered me six friends. Just call me Billy No-Mates!

[AntonyF]

It happens from a few things.

If people hav searched for you before, to add you, FB remembers so it can link you up when you do join.

It also bases knowledge on who you are connected to, and likely friends, and things like school, workplaces etc. if it has that information.

[iamtheblues]

Thanks for an extremely entertaining and beautifully written piece, Bob. I have similar experiences to your good self. Unwittingly, I joined FB in order to be able to log in to a comment facility on The Telegraph newspaper in the UK. Your tale of woe is identical to mine.
Saludos a Billy,
Bob.

[gwpriester]

All of these so-called social network sites use something similar. And some, and this may be the clue, ask you to give them access to your e-mail address book so they can be helpful and search for more people you might know.

My wife was on Facebook for a week and said, this really sucks, and removed her account.

Privacy? What the heck is that?

Splendid rant though.

[Scotty]

hi,
Yes I was on facebook...and started getting all these invites from various game thingy's facebookers play...got annoyinng.. so I cancelled...or thought I cancelled..but apparently facebook keeps..you account stuff...(for how long I don't know)...so if you view something posted..your account is activated again with all the **** you don't want...I even have gone in and set my privacy to block out everything except friends and ralatives..
JiMM

[zaphodeist]

As I found out there's "Delete Account" and there's "Completely delete your account" or words to that effect. So have a look for that. Still, I got one of those "people you know" mails and I agree with Gary, it's people allowing Facebook access to their contacts list in Gmail, Yahoo, or whatever.

[stratocast]

Ah ha! I am not alone (note to self: buy new locks for the doors).

Paranoid ravings aside, this is really irritating. My friend and I have known each other for over twenty years. I was his best man, for pity's sake and I don't want to ignore him on this. But, I'm not going to join Zuckerberg's disciples. I'm quite happy being a good, old fashioned, Internet user and have no desire to become product, for that is surely what Facebook members are.

Don't get me wrong, I can (just about) see the appeal to the odd 400 million people here and there. My daughter wanted me to get a Facebook account so we could keep in touch. She lives five minutes away and I see her two or three times a week. I wasn't aware that lunacy ran in my family.

She also mentioned that she wanted more interesting Facebook friends, so I advised her to post a cellphone pic of her boobs which would undoubtedly attract plenty of interesting friends, many with amusing outstanding arrest warrants.

Anyway, back to the subject. Can't my pal just send me a link to his photos or whatever, do I really have to join just to see his stuff?

My online privacy is likely a figment of my imagination, but I see no reason to accelerate it's demise.

[James Allen]

Ah ha! I am not alone (note to self: buy new locks for the doors).

Paranoid ravings aside, this is really irritating.

Hi Stratocast,

If you shared a house with ten students in university they would probably talk about you from time to time.

"Remember Bob? We shared a place back in the day. Do you know his friend Mary?”

Everyone talks about who they know.

[Soquili]

Hi Bob,

I agree with you about Facebook.

Since places like that and others make money by selling the member's information, they should be required to pay the members 90% of any money they make.

Think I'll suggest that to my congress persons and representatives.

[stratocast]

Hi Stratocast,

If you shared a house with ten students in university they would probably talk about you from time to time.

"Remember Bob? We shared a place back in the day. Do you know his friend Mary?”

Everyone talks about who they know.

You make a good point and I agree with you. However, chats between room mates at Uni, something that I have not had the privilege to experience, are local and confined to the group, but once disseminated on the Internets it's a different thing, at least to me.

You undoubtedly have a more laissez faire attitude and I genuinely applaud this. It's still a shock to me when I find that Carlos Fandango from Chile has some knowledge, no matter how tenuous, of my existence. You would probably take this in your stride and not give it a second thought.

Disclaimer:
As you have probably guessed, I am not a young person and therefore I am not to be trusted. I feel I have earned my right to be insufferably grumpy and to profess total ignorance when it suits me. I'm also selectively deaf and an inveterate liar.

All or none of the above may be true.