I figured out most of these problems I posted and figured i would post my findings.

1) I have found it much easier to use the pieces of a webstyle theme and insert each of the pieces into my DW design- This way i can control things like width and heighth - i was never able to figure out how xara created/managed their divs and it was causing me major headaches

2) Still have not been able to get the DWT template file to work correctly with xara menus - so I do it the hard way and duplicate my index for any new page - I have to make darn sure the structure is how I want it before doing this or if I want to chaneg something on the front page - i have to then change all the pages

3) The menus disapearing after a upload to my host - Well for some weird weird reason - when I am using a xara template and then do the upload - the nav bars would disapear - after reading my code a billion times- i found that the process actually places one exta /div in my code right after the horiz nav barr js - so i remove that /div and my menus reappear - however see # 1 - this is what i now do, and this is no longer an issue

I hope that those that read this can get some insight into my findings, and if others would like to correct me or throw in your two cents then that would be great - especially on the DWT problem - boy that is a drag not being able to get working

Thanks