I didn't call you stupid or think you are an idiot. The dumbness is in me not understanding your difficulty.
You have introduced "unlinked text", then "an illustration in one column", and "some call out text in another".
This is trickle-feeding your problem as the problem is in the alignment failure, to what?
You mention Quark, Gary recalls Aldus, both worthies but full of features. All I was asking for is what you want.
Acorn
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