Feedback and help with a biz card would be greatly appreciated!

[fyip]

Hi! It's been awhile since I've been on the forum browsing everyone's wonderful work. I am on the brink of beginning a new business - an Acupuncture, Chinese Herbology & Energy Psychology Clinic, or Wellness Center.
I've been tinkering around on designing a business card and would love to hear feedback on what I've done so far.
Further, I do realize everyone is extremely busy, but if anyone has a little time to offer some help, I would be more than appreciative.

What we're going for:

• Obviously, we have our name: Ancient Way Wellness Center.
• We do acupuncture differently than most Traditional Chinese Medical (TCM) practitioners that come out of acupunture schools. We follow an older form (likened more to French Energetic Acupuncture by George Soulie de Morant) - thus, the "Ancient Way."
• We want the card to convey an ancient sense, yet simple and elegant.
• Clean lines and not cluttered is our preference.
• I love the font Papyrus that I have used, but I see it quite overused these days. I don't know if that really makes a difference though ...
• I've drawn a "path" or "way" on the card, initially a solid line, but changed it to more of a brush stroke. I'm trying to achieve a "Chinese calligraphy-type brush stroke" with rougher edges, but haven't quite gotten there. Any ideas?

Here is what I have begun for the BACK of the card.
I haven't gotten to the front, but will try to post that as soon as I get some feedback, too.

My head is spinning and I think different perspectives and ideas will be a great help! THANK YOU!

(I think I like the burgundy better, but again, comments are most welcome)

[Albacore]

I had a quick look at your card ideas, the first one is the best although they are a few problems with it had 15 mins to spend on one and here is my idea. I know that you can see this design all over the net but as a symbol it works and it has been modified slightly. Do a search on this forum about bleed off as this is a full coloured card and needs bleed off so that it can be trimmed.

[Albacore]

Sorry jpeg would not upload

[masque]

I like number 1 for colour as the text shows up well against the ribbon but I like the ribbon (road) from number 4 best as its more suggestive of a road(way).
I've always liked this font and with all due respect to Alacore I don't think it needs an outline as it makes it rather too heavy for my taste. I don't think the text needs to jump out at you, (the most succesful b/card I've produced recently had dark grey text on black), but you might need to experiment with colour before you go to print to obtain something thats both subtle and restfull.
Derek

[tonylondon]

I'd go for number 2 - the text stands out better. Of course it may look differently on different screens,
Tony

[cbutton69]

I prefer Albacore's #1. For me it's the only one that capture's the "Way." And the colors work well.

[fyip]

Thank you, Albacore, for your revisions and ideas. Yes, I have to adjust it for the bleed - I'm new at this and knew there was something to do about that! I'll look it up.
I like the perspective you placed on the "path," but I like the freestyle movement the brush stroke implies. My boyfriend/fellow acupuncturist wondered if a cobblestone, or more "old" type of path would work, too? Or would that then look too busy?

I do agree with Masque and prefer the text with no outline. And yes, I will still play around with colors, for I want an image of professionalism, elegance, yet serenity.

I ultimately want an image that isn't heavy, but with graceful movement - I guess that's why I initially thought a brushstroke could metaphorically represent the "way" ...

Thanks, Tony & Charlie, for your input as well!

I'd love to hear more thoughts!

[TimS]

Your card feels a bit busy to me, that's not the word I'm searching for but it will have to do. I think you need a little more sense of calm and softness.

Here are some examples of what I'm trying to convey.

Hope this is the kind of feedback your looking for. I like the font you selected, and the color combo's.

I would pick number 1 for color but would work on the path.

tim

[Egg Bramhill]

I think the font is the wrong choice. It has a broken, disjointed feel. Your trying to portray an inner calm. This font just seems to destroy this.

I think Tims bamboo is very effective.

[fyip]

TIM - Wow! Thank you - your design has the feel we're going for. I had just readjusted the "winding way" on mine, softened the edges, and then when comparing mine to yours - yes, TOO busy, too much. Would you mind if we were to use these?

I have a tendency to over think things - and I believe my design (& the time I've spent so far) reflects that.

EGG: What font would you suggest? I liked the "crackled" appearance for it suggested an older feel. But I'm curious as to what you would suggest.

The other font we liked is Kudasai - I'm on a computer that doesn't have it, so I can't post what it looks like right now.

Thank you!