I got to about 1:30 into had to take a look at the the run time was 4:08. I had to close the window for my own sanity. I'm sorry to be rude it the video seemed it it was insulting my intelligence - a pet-peeve, sorry.

It's cute, but the story moves entirely too slow. I would suggest picking up the pace of the story, I don't think we need as much time to read the text and text bubbles as you've allotted. Shortening the amount of time to read the text and text bubbles will pick up the pace, and reduce the viewing time. All text of the scene (IMHO) should only be on the screen for about 1.5x -2x the amount of time an actor would need to say it - that should still give more than enough time to read them for all viewers. If viewers are not able to keep up (and I find that hard to believe), then they can pause and/or go back to read what they missed. ...then again, if they are having trouble keeping up, then odds are they don't of the "where-with-all" to know they need and/or desire the product you are pushing - not to say anything about having the money to buy it.

...just my $0.02