Dead Tree...

[geminiguy]

My bad.... thought you were in Prince Edward Sound...... I mis-read....... Now.... about those mermaids.

[Ross Macintosh]

Several weeks ago we had a pesticide spill that resulted in a fish kill in a local river. It made national news but it really wasn't anything more than what routinely happens in any other area with intensive agriculture. Part of the reason this one made the news was the farmer they charged was the brother of our Minister of Environment. It seemed to many that the Minister's department was picking on the farmer because they didn't like his brother. I thought maybe the clean-up was the "eco-recovery" that geminiguy was asking about.

We do in fact hunt Mermaids here. We don't club them any more because the real money is in capturing live specimens. They end up getting sold to collectors who keep them in big aquariums. Because they are almost extinct the government has made it illegal to hunt them. That doesn't stop the poachers. We regularly see them (the poachers) trying to lure the mermaids into traps by singing soft lullabies just after sunset.

Regards, Ross

[RTK]

That doesn't stop the poachers. We regularly see them (the poachers) trying to lure the mermaids into traps by singing soft lullabies just after sunset.

An other effective method is to rub yourself all over with a smoked maqurel and swim around like a wounded seal, or if you are a heavy-set: like a walrus. The mermaids won't be able to resit you, and they soon come to feed on you... Singing lullabies is safer though! It is estimated that as many as 30-40 Norwegian mermaid poachers go missing in P.E.I. waters every year.

Risto

[geminiguy]

I have a mermaid recipe which goes really nice with a good white wine.

[raynerj1]

For some reason, mermaids never really did anything for me.

reason...

Deleted...

[parahandy]

I like that simple tree Ross but had to come in on this mermaid thing. And this is a true story... I once caught a mermaid but didn't no whether to kiss her or fry her, anyway I let her off the hook.

[remi]

There's these three guys and they're out having a relaxing day fishing. Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid who begs to be set free in return for granting each of them a wish. Now one of the guys just doesn't believe it, and says:

"Ok, if you can really grant wishes, than double my I.Q."

The mermaid says: "Done."

Suddenly, the guy starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly and analysing it with extreme insight. The second guy is so amazed he says to the mermaid:

"Triple my I.Q." The mermaid says: "Done."

The guy starts to spout out all the mathematical solutions to problems that have been stumping all the scientists of varying fields: physics, chemistry, etc.

The last guy is so enthralled with the changes in his friends, that he says to the mermaid: "Quintuple my I.Q." The mermaid looks at him and says: "You know, I normally don't try to change people's minds when they make a wish, but I really wish you'd reconsider."

The guy says: "Nope, I want you to increase my I.Q. times five, and if you don't do it, I won't set you free."

"Please," says the mermaid "You don't know what you're asking...it'll change your entire view on the universe...won't you ask for something else...a million dollars, anything?" But no matter what the mermaid said, the guy insisted on having his I.Q. increased by five times it's usual power. So the mermaid sighed and said: "Done!"

And he became a woman.

Remi

[iamtheblues]

A man was walking past a restaurant when he noticed a sign in the window:
"$50.00 if you can order anything that we can't supply"
So he walks in and asks the waiter for a lion steak.
After a while the meal is brought to his table, and he eats it with gusto.
The waiter returns to the table and the customer says to him, "That was very good, but how can I be sure it was a lion steak?"
The waiter beckons him into the kitchen where he sees a lion hanging up with a steak-sized portion removed from its backside.
"Fair enough" says the customer, and he pays the waiter, tips him, and leaves the restaurant.
The next day the same man was walking past the same restaurant, and the sign reading: "$50.00 if you can order anything that we can't supply" was still in the window.
So he walks in and asks the waiter for devilled walrus testicles.
After a while the meal is brought to his table, and he eats it with gusto.
The waiter returns to the table and the customer says to him, "That was very good, but how can I be sure those were walrus testicles?"
The waiter beckons him into the kitchen where he sees a walrus hanging up with a significant portion removed from its anatomy.
"Fair enough" says the customer, and he pays the waiter, tips him, and leaves the restaurant.
The next day the same man was walking past the same restaurant, and the sign reading: "$50.00 if you can order anything that we can't supply" was no longer in the window.
The man enters the restaurant and asks the waiter what had happened.
The waiter said, "You won't believe this sir, but someone came in earlier and asked for mermaid's breasts on toast, and we didn't have a slice of bread in the place."
Saludos,
Bob.

[geminiguy]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Two very funny jokes! Thanks guys.

[handrawn]

my that tree speaks some might strange things - all sounds very fishy to me ....