One of my girl friends sent me this,


Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I
will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia
has set in. Calling AAA is not an option.
I will win.
__________________________________________________ _________

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very
well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine
as if I know what I'm looking at.
If another man shows up, one of us will say to the
other, 'I used to be able to fix these things, but now
with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't
know where to start.'

We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind,
as a form of Holy Communion.
__________________________________________________ __________

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone
to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and
moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do,
so for you, this is no problem.
__________________________________________________ __________

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase
basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread.
I cannot be expected to find exotic items like 'tampons', 'curry'
or 'tofu.' For all I know, these are the same thing.
__________________________________________________ __________

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops
working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence
that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair
person gets here and has to put it back together.
__________________________________________________ __________

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote
control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has
been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it, though
one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator
instead (applies to engineers only)
__________________________________________________ __________

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm
thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars,
sex, sports or sex.
I have to make up something else when you ask, so just don't ask.
__________________________________________________ __________

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked
the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it,
I didn't .. . . and if you are feeling amorous afterwards,
then I will certainly at least remember the name and
recommend it to others.
__________________________________________________ __________

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is
fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago
was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine, with the belt or
without it, looks fine. It does not make your ass look
too big. It was the pasta and potatoes and margaritas
that did that. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just
go now?
__________________________________________________ __________

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year
2007, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the
laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and
the dishes, and I'll do the rest. Like wandering
around in the yard with a beer, wondering what to do