Cranky Giraffe

[Toonicorn]

Hi again gang!

Thanks again for your feedback. I've got a new design, and I'm trying out a different drawing approach. I'd love your opinion. Most important question I have about it is: is it funny?

Don't worry about hurting my feelings, etc. Your honesty has always been appreciated.

[gwpriester]

Nice the way the butt and tail look like a nose and closed eyes. I'm guessing a female giraffe.

[Boy]

Funny idea and nicely rendered. I noticed that the mane is drawing my eyes to it, so perhaps you could tone it down a bit.

[handrawn]

yes its funny - i think we can leave gender to the imagination...

boy has a good point - the mane looks to me like the head of an old fashioned garden rake - real giraffes have tuffted manes, you could try shortening the strokes and putting them closer together

if this was a paper print graphic I would suggest giving them a slight blur to soften, but if this is for a Tshirt print that probably won't work

there again you could just leave it out:



regarding composition - the giraffe is offset to the left - the blue speech baloon spreads to the right but that in itself does not provide balance to my eye, the bottom right white space looks empty and neglected

I guess you could pull in the text area, but actually I think that in itself works well - you could add something but it would have to be very lightly done so as not to distract from the giraffe, maybe some sketch lines that indicate ground/savannah

if it were me I would be tempted to introduce a second small character in bottom right looking at the giraffe in a way that could be towards either head or tail, but that would introduce a whole new level of compexity that you maybe don't want/need

[Boy]

handrawn also makes some good points.

As far as composition goes, perhaps centering its butt might also work. I'm not an artist but just to give you an idea:

[Toonicorn]

Thanks for all the feedback, everybody! Much appreciated!

I've made some adjustments, per your suggestions. What do you think?

[Chris M]

I'm throwing my 0% artist view behind (pun intended) Boy's suggestion.

The point is the G's rear, and as such, is more prominent when it's centre stage. The lack of a mane looks cleaner. The eye slides smoothly from bottom to top, proving the funny quip.

[handrawn]

that's an improvement TC, maybe soft-pedal the grass a bit...

that said, I think tail centre stage is good .. maybe just alter the text layout after all, so the width can be pulled in



it is as important to get the tail centered vertically as well as horizontally - not dead centre, because that can look forced, but close so it draws the eye

I'm thinking emphasise the word here making it level with the eyes ? and maybe a ! not sure... I havn't time to seek out the font...

no speech baloon for me, personally I hate speech baloons, so maybe a heavier font ? but no reason not to put a baloon back in if you luvs 'em...

there is now white space at the bottom [foreground] which to preserve visually would need a box outline - could put in some more grass but i would avoid the temptation - white space that is a margin is nowhere near as distracting as a block of white space within the actual art boundary, and psychologically, white space in the foreground is understood to be open ground, and it keeps the tail close to vertical centre

[Toonicorn]

Thanks again, everyone!

This is the final version of the giraffe image. Someone told me at another site that the grass looked like "letters with the bottom cut off", but I think I'm going to disregard that.

I've entitled the image "Cheeky Giraffe".

Thanks again for your feedback!

[gray]

I like it toon. Always enjoy your cartoons.