Fantasy maps created using Xara Xtreme

[Big Frank]

I prefer the original Kaidan, but the second has a Scooby Doo look and feel to it,which clearly means it has worked for the theme of the setting

[James Allen]

the setting is called Kaidan: a Japanese Ghost Story - it is a Japan-inspired Asian horror Roleplaying Game setting. So horror was needed in the logo.

Horror, yes, that changes everything. It's looking good anyway.

[Big Frank]

Regarding the book cover of "The Gift", I hope you won't mind the following observations on your layout. What I like about he existing cover design is the inset image, which is marvellous, and the brooding, spooky atmosphere. What I don't like is that it includes a panoply of competing elements including titles and information in different font styles and logos, none of which follow any kind of geometry. I assume that the size of the book is roughly A4 (in my experience many RP books are this size). So here are some points I would make, in no particular order of importance :

• The black bar under "Rite Publishing Presents" is totally unnecessary and detracts from the book title
• "Rite Publishing Presents" is far too large and is in competition with the title. In fact, is it really necessary at all? They have their logo on the page after all
• The title and subtitle drift inelegantly across the width of the inset image
• The "Kaidan:" text is too close to both the title and the head of the warrior/ghost and competes for our attention. It is complementary information that is important for those whose attention has been attracted by the impact of the book's design, but it shouldn't be part of the main focus of attention
• The background behind the inset is still too light and competes with the main image. In fact I would have been tempted to remove it altogether, but darkening it substantially is the option I have chosen
• The logos at the bottom of the page are far too large, larger in fact than the name of the author!
• The "by" in the author's name is not required

The current layout looks like an attempt to fill the available space with information which, as any good "Before & After" reader knows, is a mistake. Empty space, properly utilised, is good!

I have made a quick (probably clumsy) attempt to rectify some of those points. In the following image I have displayed the rulers, hopefully illustrating my thought processes:



and here is the before and after:



I welcome discussion on how to further improve on the design

[James Allen]

I liked the original version, but I appreciate your points beret, and your new version. I think objective constructive opinion of this kind is very useful, and makes for interesting reading. Certainly it creates an environment in which people can learn, try other methods, etc. So, well done.

[Gamerprinter]

Part of my problem is trying to accomodate the publisher's previous cover designs to fit my needs. The red Rite Publishing Presents I think is unneccesary, but exists on all current publications of the publisher. I will see if I can remove that. In many ways the design is cluttered having to accomodate so many logo requirements, etc.

The Pathfinder logo at bottom left is necessary to show compatibility with the game it was designed for, and the Rite Publishing logo on the bottom right is for the co-publisher. I will see about making those smaller. Also will see about matching the width of the various titles to match the width of the inset. I want to look professional here, while accomodating what must be accomodated.

I'm not aware of a black bar under the Rite Publishing presents - perhaps some artifact... let me update and repost.

Thanks for the comments

Michael

[Gamerprinter]

Here's an update to the cover design - followed some of the suggestions by BeretGascon, of course, I don't know if the co-publisher is willing to allow for the changes, but as an improvement it works for me.

To give you a quick background on what makes this setting a horror setting.

Kaidan is an archaic Japanese word that means 'strange discussions' or 'ghost story'.

Kaidan is the Buddhist Hells or Wheel of Life made into a cosmology. The four social castes of Kaidan society emulates four of the six realms of the Wheel of Life and all are bound to according to a karma score and a cursed reincarnation cycle. It borrows heavily from Japanese folklore and ghost stories.

Anyway, my update:

[Big Frank]

I think that is much better . In the JPG you have uploaded there is still a black bar at the top underneath the top half of "The Gift" and I think the logos are still too large, but if you are constrained then you are constrained. I was interested in the meaning of the word "Kaidan", I did wonder about that - thanks for the enlightenment .

[Gamerprinter]

In the 15th century, there was a game played by Samurai in August, nearing the time of the Obon Festival (Day of the Dead), called 'Hyakumonogatari Kaidan kai' which means 'a gathering of 100 ghost stories'. 100 candles would be lit in a large circle, with the 'ghost story teller' participants sitting inside. Outside the circle an audience watched. As each finished their story, they would wet their fingers and extinguish a candle. Stories tended to be short, mostly something they, their friends or an acquaintance related to them - ghost stories, encounters with mythic beasts, or the explanation of some rare occurrence. Once all candles were extinguished it was believed that a ghostly spirit would be summoned. The intent of the game was to prove the bravery in the story-tellers and not fear the visiting ghost. This game was very popular and spread through society. However at the Meiji Restoration 1868 - 1900, many traditions were abandoned in efforts to modernize Japan. An Irishman named Lafcadio Hearn went to Japan in 1898 as a journalist and fell in love with the Japanese imaterialism and other concepts that were disappearing. His efforts to translate Japanese Kaidan, gained him national recognition, he was adopted into a samurai family and renamed Koizumi Yagumo. To this day children in Japan learn of Kaidan stories as told by Koizumi Yagumo. Today, Koizumi Yagumo is synonymous with Kaidan. (I visited Koizumi Yagumo's home in Osaka, when I was 15 - I've always loved Kaidan stories...)

Inspired by this, I named my setting Kaidan. Its a D&D type of game set in a feudal Japanese-like world, but with a major emphasis toward Asian horror. There are horror settings and Japanese settings, but I'm the first to bring the two together. I'm half Japanese and a long time gamer, I've never been satisfied with various oriental settings in the game (usually designed by westerners). This is my effort to create an authentic Japanese setting, steeped in horror. From my exposure to Japan, horror is intrinsic to how they view the supernatural, which has never been previously captured. This is why I created the setting.

(I'll look for that 'black bar' and remove it if I can...)

[Big Frank]

Interesting background story, nicely told

[Gamerprinter]

Been working on the mechanics for a yojimbo (samurai) class for my game setting, and got bored, so I decided I needed an illustration to accompany the class design. So here's my yojimbo practicing yabusame archery.

Enjoy!

GP