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A novel I abandoned a long time ago... http://www.talkgraphics.com/images/smilies/wink.gif I only write prologues now... http://www.talkgraphics.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif
WARNING!!! GRAPHIC LANGUAGE - ADULT SUBJECT MATTER - IF NOT IMMATURE - STOP READING NOW!
The Silverback Squirrel
By Risto Klint
Prologue
___"Shut up, you imbecile!" his wife said in a ferocious tone. He knew from experience that words uttered in that manner could easily escalate to physical violence, so he bit is tongue.
The squirrel circled the pair cautiously as if probing their defenses.
___"It’s rabid or something," he whispered quietly. "Holy leprechaun’s testicles look at those eyes."
___"Look at those teeth," his wife whimpered, slowly turning her head "Bubba, do something!"
___"Elza, I’m already working on something here," he said in an irritated voice. "Make no sudden movements, and for Christ’s sake, no loud noises." Bubba took a careful step towards the squirrel, and in the same motion expertly unzipped his trousers.
___"What the hell are you doing? You are going to get your pecker bitten off," his wife muttered through clenched teeth. "I don’t think it’s a good idea to bring little Bubba in to this..."
The squirrel seemed to smile faintly as he stood up on his hind legs, as if preparing to attack.
Little Bubba was not smiling, not even faintly, because he didn’t have a mouth, but he was coming to a stand also, as if challenging the squirrel.
___"How on earth are you doing that?" Elza said astounded.
___"Shhhh… It’s a trick I picked up in Vietnam... Now, keep quiet, I have to concentrate." Bubba slowly lifted his left leg high in the air, and brought it to rest behind his neck. "Honey, when I say 'Go!' slap my arse as hard as you can with your machete."
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A novel I abandoned a long time ago... http://www.talkgraphics.com/images/smilies/wink.gif I only write prologues now... http://www.talkgraphics.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif
WARNING!!! GRAPHIC LANGUAGE - ADULT SUBJECT MATTER - IF NOT IMMATURE - STOP READING NOW!
The Silverback Squirrel
By Risto Klint
Prologue
___"Shut up, you imbecile!" his wife said in a ferocious tone. He knew from experience that words uttered in that manner could easily escalate to physical violence, so he bit is tongue.
The squirrel circled the pair cautiously as if probing their defenses.
___"It’s rabid or something," he whispered quietly. "Holy leprechaun’s testicles look at those eyes."
___"Look at those teeth," his wife whimpered, slowly turning her head "Bubba, do something!"
___"Elza, I’m already working on something here," he said in an irritated voice. "Make no sudden movements, and for Christ’s sake, no loud noises." Bubba took a careful step towards the squirrel, and in the same motion expertly unzipped his trousers.
___"What the hell are you doing? You are going to get your pecker bitten off," his wife muttered through clenched teeth. "I don’t think it’s a good idea to bring little Bubba in to this..."
The squirrel seemed to smile faintly as he stood up on his hind legs, as if preparing to attack.
Little Bubba was not smiling, not even faintly, because he didn’t have a mouth, but he was coming to a stand also, as if challenging the squirrel.
___"How on earth are you doing that?" Elza said astounded.
___"Shhhh… It’s a trick I picked up in Vietnam... Now, keep quiet, I have to concentrate." Bubba slowly lifted his left leg high in the air, and brought it to rest behind his neck. "Honey, when I say 'Go!' slap my arse as hard as you can with your machete."
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http://www.talkgraphics.com/images/smilies/eek.gif Apparently I have all the requisite qualities to puruse this....
well, people, go ahead and comment -- I AIN'T GONNA BE THE FIRST!
Whoops! Looks like I am! http://www.talkgraphics.com/images/smilies/eek.gif http://www.talkgraphics.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif
Someone please take that garden hose away from Risto!!!! http://www.talkgraphics.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif
---Maya
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So... what happened next?!
Hey, you really should take this seriously. It's movie material and you could end up filthy rich. Or have animal rights activists howling for your skin. http://www.talkgraphics.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif But seriously, I kinda like it.. in a sick, twisted way.
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Ummm...
It is funny... crude, but funny...
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its good to know that physcotic drugs are available world wide http://www.talkgraphics.com/images/smilies/eek.gif
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Yeah, I maybe it was a bit too crude... http://www.talkgraphics.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif I have to work on this writing thing a bit more... http://www.talkgraphics.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif Proper grammar and spelling is important also...
BUT hey, it was posted in the off-topic forum - with a warning for the mature and sane. http://www.talkgraphics.com/images/smilies/cool.gif
Maya, I didn't know ladies peruse the seedy side of town... My humble APPO-LO-GEES (pronounced with a strong German accent - for effect... As in the best TV ever made - Blackadder) http://www.talkgraphics.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif
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http://www.talkgraphics.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif I guess if there's got to be a "seedy" side of TG it'll be in the "Off-Topic Chat" room...sheesh, Risto! http://www.talkgraphics.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif
I will agree about "Blackadder" ...I love the early ones best..."I have a cunning plan".....hehehehee http://www.talkgraphics.com/images/smilies/wink.gif
---Maya
